If your friend and family gatherings are like ours, you’re probably familiar with the piquantly pleasant sounds of toddlers and octogenarians alike babbling their way through some attempt to communicate to those they love about something important.

And, on these blessed occasions, amid the fearful chatter, it will always be heard, breaching above all the tilted glasses: “Bring the green tea habanero chocolate espresso yuzu truffle creme brulee!”

If you’ve ever forgotten to bring your green tea habanero chocolate espresso yuzu truffle creme brulee, you know what we mean. Not that you’re expected to always bring it; it’s just that if nobody else brought it, you were supposed to bring it. This recipe helps you decide which is which and who is who.

Ingredients

16 egg (chicken) yolks

3 Tbsp. Dark Roast espresso, ground fresh

1.5 CUPS granulated white sugar

as much vanilla bean paste you can get your hands on

dark chocolate chips

prepared yuzu reduction

1l Heavy-Ass cow’s cream

1/2 oz. sublimely condensed green tea

truffle-infused olive oil

flecks of dried, deseeded habanero pepper

Directions

Steam cream with the vanilla bean paste, espresso, green tea, and habanero.

While the cream gets to steam, mix yolks and sugar in a big-ass mixing bowl.

Slowly introduce the hot cream into the bowl, stirring so you don’t scramble the eggs because you’re impatient to be hot. Tempering the eggies with a saucy cream. Do it right. Nice.

Arrange 12-16 ovensafe ramekins in a large oven pan. Fill pan 1/4 with water. Don’t spill making this bath.

Place 2-3 dark chocolate nubs in each ramekin.

Evenly distribute the cream/egg mix across the ramekins, spilling nothing to the bath.

Squizzle the truffle oil and yuzu reduction into each ramekin, just a little, do a little design if you want

Slap yourself in the forehead because you forgot to set the oven. Yes, 250 degrees. Probably it’s all fucked now.

When it’s hot, cap the spread of ramekins with a foil shelter and slip them in.

You’re looking at an hour or two of waiting. Don’t keep opening up the oven, shameless, because that only makes it take longer.

You pull those ramekins out and they’re jiggly firm, you’re ready to leave them back in the oven for like just one second while we check at the kitchen timer and, yes, it’s time, they need to chill.

Use a big shallow tub to nestle the ramekins on ice. Later, put them away, wrapping them individually for when they’re going to service.

Somebody’s probably going to enjoy eating them.